Help! How do I reply to his text?
Do you also find it difficult to know what to text a man?
And you want to be the Feminine Energy partner, so you want your texts to be soaked in warmth and openess. You want them to be like a flower, opening and receiving and flowing.
SO…here is a five step process to help you find and respond with the words that will draw him in!
Stay Cool
The first step is to stay cool. And by staying cool I mean that you don't throw yourself directly on the phone and start typing a response to his text the minute you get it.
Instead you stay cool. You breathe.
Many of us women - especially when we get a message from a guy we have been thinking a lot about - throw ourselves on the phone and immediately start typing him back.
And then a few moments after we press send, we start to regret what we sent. We start to see that perhaps we responded to something different than what he was actually saying to us, or we come up with better ideas on how we should have responded.
We may start to feel worried that we made a mistake. And … I don't want you to go there! so the first tip to stay cool leads to the second one which is….:
2. Clear yourself from expectations
Especially when we think a lot about a guy, we tend to fantasise about him. We think about what to say to him if he connects with us, and we think about what we're hoping he will say.
So when he finally texts us, we have all these expectations built-up inside us. We quickly jump on the phone and start texting back...and then, it's likely that we reply with something different and more over with a different energy then HE had in his text.
We reply with our OWN thinking and expectations instead of LISTENING to what HE is saying in his text (even a short text like “Hi, whats up” has a message...when it comes from a guy you interacted with...keep on reading, and I will explain why and how)
And there's nothing wrong with responding with a different energy - you don't always have to be in tune with his energy. BUT it will help TONNES if you are aware of which energy you are projecting out to him and using when you reply.
3. Sit with his text
SO before you do anything, first really SIT with his text for a few moments, and feel into your body. Feel everything from your busy thoughts, to expectations to feeling happy to feeling worried to curious…. whatever it is in you, I want you to sit with it. Read the text a number of times, and experience whatever it is you experience. Feel it in your body.
And I want you to sit with this until you have a clear understanding of what his text really means to YOU. Close your eyes and FEEL in your heart, what this message could be.
4. Get in tune with your Feminine energy
The next step is to get in tune with yourself.
By getting in tune with yourself, I mean to let go of your masculine energy. If you're anything like me and you're used to getting a lot of things done, quickly and easily. That's what you've been trained to do your whole life. You have been trained to be this action oriented doer, go-getter….and that does NOT work with men. BUT it's so easy to respond from this place just as you would do with the business text to email if you're not in tune!
And if you are easily caught in masculine energy, you are a “doing” person - it may be wise to even set A RULE for yourself!
A rule like “I don't respond to texts until at least 15 minutes have passed”. By doing so, you will be able to catch yourself in time, and then follow this step by step practise.
This is NOT because you want to play games or anything. It is ONLY to prevent yourself from answering out on your first impulse.
When this happens to me, I sit down, or lean against a wall, breathe and ask myself “what am I feeling in this moment.”
I may find several different emotions flowing through me like waves. I stay with the good ones. And then….
5. Communicate from your heart
Communication from your heart is about sharing your feelings. Especially the nice, warm and loving feelings, that are ALWAYS in your heart, even if they are sometimes clouded by other emotions that sails on the surface.
So the response I want you to write should ALWAYS include something about how you feel.
This is for YOU. So that YOU can tune in to YOU.
If you feel happy to hear from him, you simply say “I feel so happy to hear from you”. If you feel excited, you say “I feel excited to get a message from you”. If you feel tingly you say “I feel so tingly when I hear you asking me out”....and so on. Easy.
However, it may be that you feel pissed off that he didn't message you earlier. Should you text “I feel pissed off, you didn't contact me earlier?”
Well. You could. If that is really what you want to say to him, and the only thing you want to say…
However, saying that would be about HIM and a judgement of him. If you let his actions define your mood, and your feelings then there is a bit of work to do. To say that would be BLAMING...so it may not be the best to say, if you want to continue dating.
That is why I want you to tune in to yourself so rigidly FIRST. Because underneath the feeling of anger lies other emotions. Check in what is true for you. Are you feeling afraid that he is not interested enough? Are you feeling lonely? Bored? Nervous? Disappointed?
In most cases, you will find “happier” emotions along with the “frustrated” emotions. And then you can script these emotions together.
“I feel so relieved to hear from you. I was feeling a bit worried.”
“I feel so happy to get a message. I was feeling lonely.”
“Hello Handsome. I'm feeling so curious...it has been a while since I heard from you, so I got to feel a bit impatient.”
Whatever is TRUE for you. But do it from your feminine energy, which you will tap into by following these above five steps.
Lots of Love,
Eva