Your inner boundaries...what do you really want?

If you ever been in a situation where you feel as if you have given up on yourself a little bit, you know that its so easy to start to THINK in your head, that next time I will say NO to this or that…..

But when the situation appears next time, you may find yourself saying yes yet again to something that you don’t really want to do…

And then you feel down on yourself because you did not stand up for yourself…..

Perhaps you even start to blame yourself and feel guilty.

And in your head, a thousand thoughts are running around, about HIM and why he is doing this or that, why he is not paying attention, why he is...

You try to get into his head to understand him.

This NEVER works. Believe me, I’ve tried :)

I remember so many times when I pushed my needs aside to make him happy, and let things slip, only to find out that it actually lowered my worth in a man's eyes.

I remember TRYING to set firm rules to myself. Such as “I will not sleep with him just yet”. Only to find myself waking up beside him, after a passionate night….

In the end, I found that I didn't even understand what boundaries are. 

So if you have problems setting boundaries with men, maybe you are like me. Maybe you too have difficulties actually understanding what boundaries are.

If so, keep on reading! 

Boundaries, in my world, are made of RULES set by your masculine energy and FEELs set by your feminine energy, your INTUITION. These two are intertwined.

SO, how you can incorporate really good, strong boundaries within yourself?

For me, the most important boundaries are our INNER BOUNDARIES. These boundaries are formed by our INTUITION. It's all about your ability to SENSE when things do not feel good, and then say NO. Or when they feel good, so you want to say yes.

ALL women have intuition, but the more we practise being in our Masculine energy, the less we develop our intuition. 

Taking all that into account, fixing your boundaries is not something you do on a coffee break, but rather something that develops over time as you go deeper into your True Feminine Essence.

Sometimes I meet women who wants to set boundaries towards HIM, by setting rules for HIM. This is not a boundary. A boundary can only be about YOU. You set your boundary so that you only have to worry about what YOU do or not.

SO…a simple example could be, that you feel exhausted by having to clean the kitchen every night. SO you want to set a BOUNDARY that HE should also do it. Preferably half of the time.

I am sorry, but this is about him. This is not a boundary.

And if you look deeper…what is it that you really want?

Do you really only want him to do the washing up?

Do you really only want to tell him he’s not treating you well by ignoring you and letting you clean up the mess?

Or do you want more rest?

Or better treatment in general?

Or do you want him to love you? Take care of you?

Do YOU want to feel a warm, overwhelming joy of being alive inside YOU, and able to share your life and love with him?

Regardless of the washing up?

When you look beyond the “problem” and see and feel what it is you truly want, it will be SO much easier to trust yourself on making correct decisions.

And when these good feeling emotions start to shine through, you naturally will feel empowered and people will naturally be drawn to you and want to treat you well as well.

So first, ask yourself…is this really about setting boundaries at all? When you feel off-kilter…is it because you need a boundary about the “thing”….or is it because there is something bigger in the picuture that needs to be adressed?

Once you get clear on this, we can start working on your TRUE boundaries - both the Framework boundaries and your Inner boundaries.