The Antidote To Relationship Anxiety
In one of the biggest happiness studies conducted, the researchers found a clear relationship between happiness and having a loving, long term relationship with a good partner.
It is hardwired in us all, both men and women, to want to live together in love with someone, and to share our life with someone, to mate and have kids. Even if love and relationship traditionally is more prone to be valued by woman, a man still craves a good woman by his side to feel complete.
And this is one of the reason I am on this mission to help you FIND love and STAY in love.
I just know the world would be a better place if families stayed together and worked on creating their own love and happiness, rather than divorce too easily. Because how can we expect war and conflict to end in the world, if we cannot even end conflict in our relationships?
I am not saying you should stay in an abusive relationship though - no-one should put up with physical or emotional abuse - but I can guarantee that most relationships which start out healthy, can also stay healthy over time, IF you commit to it. IF you commit to do your side of things.
And since you are here, you likely want to be the feminine energy partner in a relationship. And that is a really good start on getting the love and relationship that you want and truly deserve!
So now imagine that your relationship can be healed. In fact, I want you to imagine that it is already perfect as it is, even with the imperfections you might see.
Try to feel in your body that this is ok. Even the imperfections belong, but they do not need to grow to “things” if you handle them with CARE.
And this care CAN start with one of the greatest relationship anxiety antidotes:
Gratefulness
Yes. Simply being grateful is one of the best antidotes for relationship anxiety - or in fact also for any negative feeling.
It may look too simple and perhaps you dismiss it, as being an old and outworn advise. But the fact that it IS so simple and easy to carry through, is the very thing that makes it so powerful!
And, BTW, if you are like me, it is not so simple as it seems, because to live it over time, you need to heighten your own awareness - of your thoughts, of your behaviors, so that you remember to draw on thankfulness whenever anxiety arises.
So now consider this:
Whenever you start to feel angry, or resentful, or anxious in relation to your partner - stop.
2. Absolutely stop what you are doing, get still and momentarily sink into your feelings.
3. Acknowledge everything you feel.
4. Notice any sensations, any temperatures, textures, colours.
5. Then turn to thankfulness. Find something to be grateful for. There is ALWAYS something to be grateful for.
6. Find a small thing first. Then another. Then a bigger one. If possible, write it down. If possible, sink deeper into your heart and look for all the things that you actually have, that you are thankful for.
7. Then turn to your relationship: Did your man ever do something for you? Did he look at you, touch you or say something that made you smile?
Look for things that may be obvious. Is he a good father? Does he clean the car, pick up the food or drive you to work? Is he working hard to provide? Anything. And everything that you may appreciate. And say to yourself “I am thankful for …”
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If you have trouble finding true thankfulness, perhaps your anger stands in the way of feeling deep in your heart. Then start out just think about something which you would have to do if your partner didn’t do it.
From there you can start a chain of thankfulness. Maybe your partner makes breakfast or wash up. Maybe he or she puts the children to bed. Maybe they mow the lawn or do the washing. Whatever it is, this is something you can be thankful for.
Be careful not to start comparing in your head, and belittle the actual thing because you think that you do double more. Just for one moment, let yourself feel thankful for this little thing.
Then add more things. Perhaps you have kids. Think about them smiling and be thankful. Think about that they are actually half of your partner. Now THAT is certainly something to be thankful for.
Be thankful for all the time that you spent together as a family until now. Draw on good memories and be thankful for those.
Being grateful for what you have is a choice. Being and feeling grateful is a skill, that becomes easier and easier with practice.
If you say that there is nothing to be thankful to in your relationship, you lie to yourself. If you look out for the bad stuff rather then the good, that is also a choice you have made. You create your own reality by choice, since there is no truth in what is happening, only our interpretations of the mind.
Choosing gratefulness makes your head lighter. Choosing gratefulness makes your heart sing.
And then gratefulness has worked as the antidote you needed to cure your relationship anxiety.
Try it out for yourself…and please write a comment to let me know what your experience is <3
Love,
Eva